Dear Collin,
As
I was diligently trying to research more about you on the internet, I
found it exceptionally difficult to find a lot of information on you. I
started with Facebook only to find two posts on your timeline since 2009. That is a span of nearly seven years. I then tried to simply find
what you looked like only to discover that you have 2 posted photos
that are viewable and one was hard to determine if it was you because it
appeared to be a bearded man wearing a sequined dress. That particular
photo was uploaded
November of 2013. The other picture was very shaded on your face
because there was a blaring sunset in the background. A beautiful one if
I might add, kudos for that one. I learned from your “about” page that
you are single and interested in women, and apparently you have no
family—at least not that you posted on Facebook. You have attended Utah
state University and Sky View High in Smithfield Utah. You work at The
Clean Spot.
After learning all I could from Facebook, I researched The Clean Spot to see if I could glean anymore information about you there.http://www.thecleanspotutah.com/ When I searched your name in the search bar, this is what I found:
Your name attached to everyone of the products, items, or designs for the Clean Spot. From this information I decided that you are may be a big wig there either as a graphic designer, product manager, or something like that.
So I then tried typing your name with The Clean Spot into the search bar of google to no avail.
After
that, I decided to go a different route and try finding out more about
you by searching your name attached with Utah State University into
three different search engines. Still nothing other than I may have
discovered that you have a dad named Brent, and either a sister or a mom
named April. If you aren't related to either of them then I apologize
sincerely. http://www.whitepages.com/name/Colin-Sorenson
I then decided to go back to the roots and research Sky View High School. I was unable too! Seriously Collin if you were trying to be untraceable, you are really good at it. You are OFF THE GRID! (like Jason Bourne, if you have ever watched the Bourne Series)
My dear friend, you don't have an updated Facebook page. You don't have a LinkedIn. You don't have an Instagram. And
you don't have a Twitter. I'm amazed you have alluded this generations
obsession with pictures and newsflash updates about personal life. You
have successfully escaped the social media/ internet death trap of the
millennial generation unscathed and I applaud you for it.
Sincerely,
Katelin
